Orphan

I've a voice that speaks,
thousands colors that I can paint.
A song that I can play.
with me a broken heart, in this cold bed.

I'm a soul all alone,
still trying to figure out,
how to fly out between two lines.

Mother, O mother,
where are your lovely arms ?
Father, where lies your comforting shadow ?
Am I to fly alone ?
all alone ?

In the agony of this world,
my pole star still awaits
my archway of salvation
is the mockery of my taste.

When I fall around
I break in pieces
then I collect myself
and try to fly again.

Well, what we lack here,
is what we call as emotions,
hearts of rocks and minds of savage.

Is there any place, where I can still fly ?
or is there a kingdom, existing without lines ?

oow, how I left myself behind ?
I don't where am I supposed to go.
I know it was planned, but by whom ?

Don't crush my wings,
they'll revive again.
Don't try to stop me,
I've to fly.
Fly, fly till the horizons meet,
fly fly till the opet reaches earth?
a day will come, when I'll fly.

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From Past two weeks, there's been a new addiction in my life
Sometimes, I stare out of my room's window, and look at
those illuminated stars, that shine on us from distance greater
than one can imagine, then by midnight there's someone in the neighborhood,
a flute musician, he plays his flute like eternal tune of the heart.
And for the next hour, I totally devote myself tuned to the Flute Music.

It's an open chapter that music is the biggest medicine, that one can get,
and this flute music, it seems like sound of wisdom under the light of moon.

There was a poem by the great poet Rabindranath Tagore, where he describes,
how the "Raag Bhairavi" played on flute by Kanta babu, used to soothens
the pain and grief of the junior clerk. The damped and dark room of that
clerk used to get composed with vibrant colors, with the flute music.
Music gave him a reason to survive, and deface some moments of his life.

Such things exist on my side,there's something special in his tunes
the tune as if tells me, that, the worst is over,
and I can breathe again.
Amidst the midnight, there's nothing in between his tones and me,
the only sound of crackers intervening my pleasure, telling me
that the festival of lights is nearby, destroys my isolation.
I know on that particular day, his music will fade away,
and even if he plays the flute, his music won't be audible to me.
But music never dies.

In the End, spare some time, for this website, devoted to Music.

www.musicalme.biz

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Ever thought about death and the feeling that can arouse, 'cause of it ?
Humans are known to fear death, a thing thats sure to come, sooner or later.
You can run for your life, but you can't hide for your life.

Remember, the time you feel the last cry from inside,
your hands starts to fell like two floating leaves of spring.
Just before goin' to blind, the last pain,
that is the door which leads you to the path of being Comfortably Numb.

Few days back, I saw a movie, it was titled "Last Dance".
Quite an old movie, but really touched my heart,
don't know why, it eroded some beliefs, some mindsets of mine.

How can you face yourself, when you know, death is on the door ? ,
and whatever you've is just for some moment of time.

Wrote this poem, some days back.

Tired of darkness,

I try to walk for light.
Working a way out for gildering,
It's the time of evec-tion tonight.

No, no more, Joie de vivre,
'm estranged for this life.
I'm no more guilty,
if the moon was never mine.

Toss a feather on my eyes,
I want to sleep tonight,
there's no morning after,
so why should I run for life ?

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Insighted,
I need you today,
Why don't you come back again ?

Nobody,
Understands my pain.
I'm dreading in my grief
vexed in my claims.
I just wanna born again.
Turned insane,
'm not the same
I need you here today

I'm so scared today, 'm so tired
you're the only one, who can stop the tears
I stand , then kneel, but you aren't the same.

I walk the same old roads
where we once walked together
but now, you've flied away like a bird
while I'm just here dreaming.

I need some time, to pull emotions
time, to lift up my heart again,
by then I need you here,

Take me back to the place I belong
turn the time back again
I was always with you,
but you aren't the same
I need you back again

'cause they don't understand me
and they don't care
you're all I want, here today.

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Sorry for acting like dummies, sorry for creating another scene, my sincere sorry to all of them, this is the only place , where I can express myself. I know I've acted stupid, I know how I feel today, I don't have words to console myself, I never wanted to be like this, I promise I'll change, to what I used to be before, I'll be the same old thing,

sorry,

Ankit

• 5 comments »

I died in my dreams, today,
lost in a valley,
'm roaming here and there,
failed once again,
sounds to be a pain
but is heard, inside.

Somebody is screaming,
inside my soul, above my head
'm gonna perish in seconds,
leaving something of me
leaving just the memories.

I'm gonna die again

-------------
-------------------------


I haven't slept in my bed , from weeks
Can I dream again ?

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So what we're not one today ?,
so what we won't be the same in future?.
You made the best of me,
you made me feel,
as if 'm a nectar of flower.
and I still do know, how you feel.

I saw you crying in the rain
then, I saw you smiling on the rain.
It seems tomorrow will never come,
cause I'm still living in the past.

You know, you won't be alone
the place I'm is not far away.

• 3 comments »

Today is the Birthday of one of my best friend from the neighboring country Pakistan.
Umer or Omer or Donz.

Many Happy Returns of the buddy,

Rapturing from the bud
a new rose came today,
nurturing with sounds
are the lyrics of the birds.
Tune up the winds
cause the season has started,
its your day today,
make it largest.

• 1 comments »

I don't know what forced me today, something strong.
I wanted to be as isolated as possible, but I knew something,
the more I'll try to be be ruined, the more I'll be thinking of her.
Life's like that, and as Karin said, life is pointless.
Writing such an article at this moment is pointless.

If you're reading this , my sincere thanks to you.

Past two weeks for me have been just a mirror of life,
eventhough I've no strong reasons to feel happy and adored,
still I'm trying to find a smile within the silver shine of moon.

Am I turning insane ? a friend said today, that I'm turning
Pyscho, I know they are not the first signs, but I've no regrets
for this, maybe I'm rather enjoying the new face of mine
or maybe 'm addicted to it. On the lines of Syd Barrette, I wanna
be Psychedelic , no more of this world, but how can I leave those
whome I care, love and respect.

This blog was never intended for such an article,
but don't know why, an unknown field forces me to publish this
article, I was working on 3-4 articles which I'll release in the
upcoming dates, including 2 tributes.

Past 50 hours have been a lucid phenomenon, I lost my love,
I reconciled with a friend, and stories that are just sine wave
are coming to me, maybe dad will undergo another surgery in ankle,
my best friend suffering from pox, and how can I forget Supriya da.

To be frank, I've never been such daring,expressing my grief and
emotions has never been a strong side of me, but this life of bits
and bytes has given so much to me, it brought me friends, and home
away from home, it gave a platform to me to fill the colors in my lines.
Maybe the writer-poet within me has re-incarted.

Sorry for writing such a stupid article, but I don't know why
words are flowing from my pen without any editing or pause

PS: Vivek bhaida go on, you've a road in front of you
Isha di, love you.

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Dedicated to Someone Special ♥

Walking through this dark tunnel
Waiting for the moon to shine and guide us
ooh, we don't need no pleasures
all we need is some moments together
Someday, we'll be the one for each of us

For all the right reason
another lie is fine for me
for all the customs precisions
we need standard in time

The river is between us,
but we're not far.

The moon is shining above my head,
Its gaining a certain acceleration.
Ooh, can't I stop the time ?
an let it be a still-picture of my life ?

Is the moon guiding me to wrong road ?
no worries, cause you're my aviator

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Sometimes you're in a paranoia, you think you're
always right, and whoever stand on your road
he faces your revile.
But where lies the fault ?

You never went through the panorama of the problem,
and later when you do, its too late.
life's' like that, a temper of second, becomes another
series of temper for hours and days.

Sometimes it feels like, I could've been calm for a second,
and could've saved this mess in my life, but you never act on time.
Why is it so ? Why we cannot control ourselves ?
How many people you can find? who can control themselves ?
I found one, how many more you can find ?

So is it a problem of human nature in general ?
People will suggest you for many ideas , exercises,
and control methods, but do they really help ?
and why do we need them ? why we can't ourselves on our own ?

The questions remain unanswered,
cause 'm not fit enough to give one,
so can somebody explain this,
cause 'm already biased.

In the end, a self-written poem

I can't find my mistakes
cause 'm still looking through my eyes
when you get biased
every moves seems fines.

I try to be neutral
but sometimes you don't even try,
and you let others' think
that you're too biased.

People ask me to be neutral
I try to understand
I even try to find my flaws.
I know nothings' perfect
neither the points 'm standing on
But isn't it that my
foundations have been strong enough

But wait !ain't I biased again ?

I try to find a solution
but this human nature.
Is this just for me ?
or is it that 'm a freak ?

I've noticed people who've won
the wars on wrong points
how was it possible ?
was it the defect of other side ?

or is it that 'm biased again ?

Sometimes I feel , whats the use of it ?
by proving one wrong,
you try to stand yourself right ?
and isn't it that broken
mirror can be joined, but
they still remain with broken lines ?

Your relation seems like that only
once it gets detached, it ain't the same
again, there are glitches in future lines.

I don't wanna be biased again
someone save me from this life.

• 2 comments »

Ulysses
Alfred Lord Tennyson

It little profits that an idle king,
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Matched with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.

I cannot rest from travel: I will drink
Life to the lees: all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone; on shore, and when
Through scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vest the dim sea: I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known; cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honoured of them all;
And drunk delight of battle with my peers;
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untravelled world, whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!
As though to breath were life. Life piled on life
Were all to little, and of one to me
Little remains: but every hour is saved
From that eternal silence, something more,
A bringer of new things; and vile it were
For some three suns to store and hoard myself,
And this gray spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought.

This is my son, mine own Telemachus,
To whom I leave the scepter and the isle
Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfill
This labour, by slow prudence to make mild
A rugged people, and through soft degrees
Subdue them to the useful and the good.
Most blameless is he, centered in the sphere
Of common duties, decent not to fail
In offices of tenderness, and pay
Meet adoration to my household gods,
When I am gone. He works his work, I mine.

There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail:
There gloom the dark broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toiled, and wrought, and thought with me
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads you and I are old;
Old age had yet his honour and his toil;
Death closes all: but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.
The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks:
The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs: the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in the old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are,
One equal-temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

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